Monologue

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It’s so chilly tonight. I can feel it right through my bones. I am so used to the warmness of summer that I had forgotten how cold and windy autumn could be sometimes. I have to admit that I did underestimate autumn a bit, and now I am left unprepared for the extreme wind and chill and sudden rain. But being in a four seasoned country, I really should brace myself. For I knew very well about all the changes in the weather. And to avoid the weather is an impossible thing to do. It’s true, even if you decided to stay indoor and had your heater turned on, the wind will somehow find a way through the window’s nooks and crannies to send its breeze inside the house. Oh well, maybe this is just how autumn wishes you a happy birthday. Cold and subtle but nothing can beat the beauty that autumn could offer.

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Dear Autumn

University Of York

Some days are rainy, gloomy and cold
for maybe you are preparing us for a colder and gloomier winter
while some days are exceptionally sunny, bright and warm
for maybe you are letting us feel the traces of summer.
Some might dislike you for being so unpredictable and uncertain
and some just love the sight of your falling leaves
In all these circumstances
you taught me a very meaningful lesson dear autumn,
that life is a mix of all above
there are good days and bad days,
but nothing is certain,
even bad days don’t last forever
and for that,
I should thank you.

Kindness of strangers l

Athens, Greece

May 2016
10:30 pm

I got a seat beside a friendly, young English man, aged around early 30’s, I guessed. I can see his friendliness from the moment he entered the plane. I found it odd to see someone so full of energy at that time of the night. He smiled broadly and politely asked me to move over for him to get into the middle seat. Since I was having a bad headache that night, I didn’t have the energy to be friendly and replying his smiles was what I could. I managed to get some sleep but the pain in my head did not recover. When I woke up, looked around, he started a conversation with me. “It’s way past our bedtime,” he said, still with a smile. I agreed to it with a simple “Yeah”. The pilot had just announced that we were about to land in 10 minutes. Only then we started to have a ‘real’ conversation, which turns out to be a memorable one. He asked whether I am staying in Dublin(the flight destination), where I’m from and what I’m doing here(UK) -the commonly asked ones. I returned the questions back to him. I found out that he is a Ph.D. student from Sheffield, and that he once stayed in York before. I was a bit surprised when he told me that his father was born in Kuala Lumpur, and his mother who was a nurse worked with a princess from Malaysia – the way he put it. The latter was a bit funny, to be honest. I mean, of all strangers, in the plane you sat beside a person that has such an interesting story to tell, from his experience of having a Malaysian housemate to trying out Malaysian foods. For me, it’s such a new experience. Since it was my first time travelling (short distance only) alone, and to meet with a kind stranger, it really made me feel a little braver. I was always cautious and curious (and still am) about what the people around me think of me -a Muslim girl, with a headscarf, appearance-wise, looking different from everyone else wherever I go- cause people like to pick up the odd things. I don’t really feel the insecurities or anything travelling in groups, but this time around, I became a little bit too aware of the people around me. And so, this stranger man, made me feel a little bit at ease. How I felt the tiniest of connection just because he has some experience related to my country. It would be great though if he could speak some Malay words as well, haha.
But my main point is that the kindness of strangers is the best because you get to see the genuinely kind-hearted people. They are kind to you without really hoping anything in return cause you’ll only encounter them once in your life (well, most probably). And they do not know who you are, regardless of your age, or background, all are worthy of receiving kindness. Sometimes, it only requires a smile to make someone’s day and this is true (at least for me). There are still truly kind-hearted people out there. If you couldn’t find one yet, maybe be one?

Of changes and changing

 

Bruges, Belgium

 

Things will never be the same again
seasons change
day and night never fail to alternate
people come and go in life
a second later will never be the same as the one before.
And you,
you are dynamic
you keep on growing day by day
you can’t choose to stop yourself
from the natural growth created in you
and humans should experience more changes than any other creations do.
Changes are inevitable
physically, emotionally, spiritually
it happened even without you realising it.
Take a moment to look at yourself
to years before and today
you have had so many things going on
it was such a bumpy ride
you’ve met lots of new people with different characters,
being in a new surrounding,
in a different country even!
Adapting, adjusting, accepting
you sure are not the same person as you were.
When you perceive things from a different angle
you’ll realise that changes are not so bad after all.
So let’s accept them whole-heartedly
welcome them,
and not be afraid of them.
(no seriously, it’s not some kind of a monster that chew you up)

The future

Alhambra. Granada, Spain

The future is so uncertain.
We could try to think and imagine it,
but we will never really know what is going to happen, be it near or far. 
Sometimes this uncertainty scares us deeply
and renders us helpless,
that we can do nothing but to ask Allah for the best.
And may He showed us the best path that He had planned for,
which might not always be what we wanted
but instead, what we needed.
So have patience, have faith.